


Are You Really Lonely If I'm Here With You

by StarlightPhoenix



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms
Genre: Also Near is mentioned in 1 sentence so please don't come for just him, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Guardian Angels, Gen, M/M, Mello is Matt's Guardian Angel, Not Canon Compliant, Suicide Attempt, also there's, and you decide if the ending is friendship or the beginning of a relationship, but it's very mild and chill and he knew he wouldn't die, but just a heads up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-24 00:19:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17090501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarlightPhoenix/pseuds/StarlightPhoenix
Summary: Matt was not a bad human, and Mello's job could have been a lot harder. He went to college, worked a minimum-wage job, played his video games, and slept. He didn’t do anything immoral that would get Mello reassigned to another human, and he was well-off compared to those in poverty.No, Mello's role as Matt's guardian angel wasn't the worst.Until Matt noticed him.





	Are You Really Lonely If I'm Here With You

**Author's Note:**

> Ah, Death Note. The fandom of my middle school years.... Here's the fic I wrote literally 5 years ago and just found in a folder labeled "death note fics."

Mello’s human wanted to die. That _had_ to be it.

He always had his nose in his video games and it wouldn’t be surprising if he walked right into traffic and got hit.  

And Mello was the unfortunate angel who has to make sure that doesn’t happen.

Matt Jeevas wasn’t a lucky kid—orphaned as a child, bullied, insulted, made into an outcast, and dumped into the world as soon as he turned 18. Life wasn’t fair to the kid. But Mello always tried to make sure he would make it out okay. He was the whisper telling him it would get better, the impulse forcing the teacher to look over just before Matt got hit, the shiver of fear convincing the social worker to make an impromptu visit to assure the orphanage was safe.

Matt was not a bad human, and Mello's job could have been a lot harder. He went to college, worked a minimum-wage job, played his video games, and slept. He didn’t do anything immoral that would get Mello reassigned to another human, and he was well-off compared to those in poverty.

But Matt didn’t pay attention to his surroundings, and Mello was always forced to change signals to red, to make drivers look up from their phones to see a scrawny kid crossing. One day, he’ll look away for a second, and Matt will be joining him in heaven.

Not that Mello was always in heaven. He spent a lot of time on Earth, following his human. No one ever saw him unless he wanted them to, but in the moments that an angel saves their human, the connection is strong enough that Matt could see him regardless of his own wants— _if he ever looked up from his PS3._

He was ridiculous.

 It was late at night, and Matt was getting ready to get back to his dorm from his job. Mello had tried to convince the employer that letting him work so late was a bad idea, but he was an angel, not God Himself. By the time Matt got off, the only light sources were streetlamps and the moon and stars.

For other humans, this wouldn’t be a problem. They would just be careful and look both ways before crossing the street.

Matt was a whole different case. He could be on fire and not notice.

At least his hair would match the fire.

Mello watched him take out his phone and open an app. Matt didn’t have anyone to text except a few classmates when he missed class and needed the notes. He would play games instead.

This wasn’t a new experience, watching him carefully. It was dark, and Matt blended in with his black and white striped shirt.

Thankfully, he didn’t have too many roads to cross. Every time he needed to cross, Mello was the one to look both ways.

When he was one block away from his dorm, crossing the street, there was a speeding car with its lights off. There was no way Matt or the driver saw each other.

Mello didn’t think, instinctively pushed Matt ahead, causing him to trip and scrape his hands, but onto the safety of the sidewalk. Mello was in the car’s path, but it drove through his body harmlessly.

Matt turned back to see who or what caused him to stumble, and caught sight of the angel. He was dazed, naturally, having just narrowly avoided death. His eyes stared at the person who was standing untouched where a car sped past.

Mello gave the redhead a relieved smile, glad to know he would live another day, and he himself wouldn’t be given another human to watch. When Matt blinked, Mello was gone from his sight.

When Matt made it to his dorm with no further complications, he was still shaken up. He never really noticed me before, so shock was expected, but Matt never really got shaken up before. He was always relaxed, going with the flow. Even his bookworm of a dorm mate, Nate, looked up in concern.

“Are you alright, Matt?”

“Yeah, fine,” he lied in assurance.

Apparently, it satisfied Nate, but Mello knew Matt was still in thought. He didn’t touch his PS3, grabbing a pair of plaid pajama pants and an old shirt that was too big to wear outside.

Without another word, Matt changed, went to his bed, and pulled up the covers to block out the light from Nate’s studying.

 

 

Mello had absolutely no idea what would happen next.

Matt never saw him before, mostly because he rarely saw anything. He would either freak out when fully awake, or think the adrenaline caused a hallucination. Mello wasn’t sure what he’d prefer. A little recognition was nice, but it would complicate things.

As it turned out, he had nothing to worry about. Matt woke up and continued like last night never happened.

Or so Mello thought.

He should’ve expected some crazy idea from his crazy human.

He seemed to have learned his lesson and looked both ways before crossing the streets, which gave the angel one less thing to stress over. Like usual, there weren’t a lot of people out when he got off work the next night, but it was better to be safe.

Half-way back to his dorm, a car was nearing, and Matt stood by the curb. Seconds before it passed, he stepped onto the road.

He was so lucky Mello saw the movement and yanked him back by the shirt.

The car honked loudly as it drove away, but he didn’t pay attention, focusing on his human.

“What was that?” he demanded.

Matt looked at him in surprise. “You’re real,” he whispered.

Oh. So _that’s_ what that stunt was about.

“Yes, I’m real. And how am I supposed to keep you safe if you just _walk into traffic_?”

“You’re real,” Matt repeated.

He sighed and brushed his blond hair out of his eyes. Matt was still in shock. The incident happened a week ago, and he was still thinking about it.

“Can I trust you to get back in one piece?”

The redhead nodded mutely. After a second, he went to say something else, but Mello beat him to it.

“Good,” he huffed with a roll of his eyes.

He let himself become unnoticeable. Matt took a step back, trying to see if he could find the angel, unaware he was looking directly through him.

In a handful of minutes, he kept his word and made it back without any more attempts of walking into speeding cars.

 

 

He was really hoping that Matt would be happy now that he had proof that the angel existed.

He didn’t do anything extreme, but he was still as careless as before, or even worse. Every time Mello would pull his shirt or push him away to keep him from getting hurt, he would simply turn back and smile. The saving-him part wasn’t anything new, but now Matt noticed it, convinced Mello would always be there to play hero.

Well, he _will_ be, but that’s beside the point.

Mello’s response was to huff in annoyance and turn around.

Every so often, Matt would glance around his campus, trying to find him. It was almost cute, how he would be so hopeful, trying to find the familiar face, only to look back down in disappointment.

It was only a matter of time before Matt did something insane to find him again.

 

 

Weeks later, during semester exams, he rode the elevator to the highest floor of his dorm building, and then took the stairs to the roof. The wind was calm, but the air was cold. The moon was hiding behind the clouds, and the only light was from the ground, ten floors away.

Mello followed with trepidation. Why exactly did Matt feel he needed to be ten floors above ground at night? It wasn’t a smoke break, where he would step outside for a few minutes.

Mello’s alarm grew as he stepped towards the edge.

_“What are you doing?”_

“Nothing. I just wanted to talk.”

Mello clenched his jaw. Matt turned away to gazed at him, studying his expression, his existence. His calmness was infuriating. He mimicked suicide for a chat, and then acted like he sent a text to go out for coffee, as if _Mello_ was the one overreacting.

“About what?”

“You.”

“Matt—” he started, eyes narrow, only to raise my eyebrows in disbelief when he was cut off.

“You know my name, what’s yours?”

He took a second to remind himself that he had to protect the human, not push him off the roof. “Mello.”

“Well, Mello, are you an angel?”

He stared, stunned. “Wasn’t that obvious?”

“You _are_.”

“Of course I’m an angel,” he scoffed. “And I’m supposed to keep you safe. How can I do that if you keep walking into traffic or threatening to jump ten floors?”

“Can I touch you?”

So he wasn’t even listening. Mello sighed in resignation, extending his arm for him to touch. At least Matt wasn't standing at the edge anymore.

Matt's wide eyes fixated on the offered limb, barely grazing the shirt sleeve with his fingers.

 “Shouldn’t angels wear white?”

Honestly, his human was ridiculous.

Instead of white robes from paintings, Mello preferred his baggy black clothes, a preference from his life as a human.

“It doesn’t matter,” he answered, pulling my arm back.

“Oh. Do all angels look like this?”

“Like _what_?”

“Cute,” came the immediate response, but when Matt realized what he said, he turned as red as his hair.

Mello smirked. “You think I’m cute?”

“N—no! Well yes—but—I mean, not—”

The smile went back to assuring. “I know what you mean. And yes, angels are all cute.”

“So are you going to disappear now?” Matt asked, dejected.

“You’re not supposed to see me so often.”

“But why?” Matt demanded, though it was more of a whine.

“Because I’m supposed to protect you, not be your friend.”

Matt’s sadness was palpable. He had been with the human since he was born, and he never saw Matt make any actual friends. They usually left after finding someone else. And Matt was always left alone. And Mello just rejected his friendship.

With a quiet “Oh,” he wordlessly turned and went back to his dorm.

Mello followed, unseen.

 

 

Matt entered a state of depression. He stopped talking, barely ate, didn’t do any work unless it was required.

Mello watched, never letting himself be noticed. His statement was true. His role as guardian angel was just that—a guardian. He wasn’t supposed to get attached.

Matt just looked so sad. He thought they could be friends, and had his hopes crushed. Maybe Matt didn’t actually jump off the roof, but his hopes certainly fell and shattered.

Silently watching did nothing to help. As the days passed, winter break did nothing to cheer him up. As the other students excitedly planned their vacations, he stayed alone in his dorm. Even Nate had gone on a trip with his older brothers.

Mello took one last look at his human before leaving the room.

He had no other option, it seemed.

 

 

Spring semester brought some warmth, and Mello was glad for it. Human bodies aren’t resistant to the cold.

He walked across the campus, being ignored by some, and getting appreciative glances from others, his baggy clothes replaced with a modern black leather jacket and matching black boots. He was dressed like a demon more than an angel, he mused.

He didn’t pay the students any mind, searching for one specific redhead.  Matt would usually be out and taking advantage of the warmth to smoke outside, but Mello had been gone for a while. That could have changed.

Finally, he found him, leaning in a corner with a cigarette between his fingers. He looked so alone, so small. Mello readied himself, taking a deep breath, almost forgetting that humans needed to breathe.

He walked up to Matt and smiled.

His emerald eyes widened behind his goggles, his cigarette almost falling from his fingers. He saw Matt’s doubt, wondering if he was hallucinating or dreaming. His fingers tightened around the cigarette, nails cutting into skin, assuring himself it wasn’t a dream.

Mello extended his arm. “I’m new to this school. Mind showing me around campus?”

The implication set in—that Mello was human and attending his school—and it was Matt’s turn to nearly forget to breathe.

After a few seconds, Matt dropped the cigarette and ignored the hand, jumping on Mello. He enveloped the newly-turned human in a hug, arms tight around his waist. Mello felt his smile against his neck. In that moment, all of Matt’s sadness evaporated. His human had a friend and was smiling again.

“I would _love_ to, Mello.”

**Author's Note:**

> Not as intricate as the other DN fics, but honestly this fandom needs a little happiness and mediocre writing, so tada! 
> 
> And as always, comments and kudos are nice!


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